The Greatest Gatsby
Norway’s Bravest Son Publishing House, 2021
Kindle / Paperback
Experience F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic Jazz Age novel of lost love, wild parties, and the impossible promise of the American Dream the way it was almost certainly never meant to be: with mercenaries, shadowy government agencies, meditations on violence, death, and masculinity, and a much more rewarding love story for Nick and Jordan. Oh, and also? Secret international cabals of werewolf assassins.
Nick Carraway, a traumatized soldier trying to escape his past, moves to Long Island in search of a new – and quiet – future. Instead, he’s drawn into the increasingly tangled orbits of his cousin Daisy, lovelorn and imprisoned by her past; her husband Tom, a jackbooted corporate fixer; the alluring and sardonic Jordan Baker; and, of course, his neighbor Gatsby, a millionaire playboy renowned for his excess as much as the mysteries surrounding him. What follows is a stirring (and still surprisingly familiar) tale of romance, revelations, reefer, redemption – and revenge.
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The End of Everything Forever
Jersey Devil Press, 2020
Kindle / Paperback
Fallen gods. Cloned queens. Psychokinetic squirrels. Atomic werewolves. Hippie zombies. Jell-O monsters. Butter monsters. Booger monsters. An army of philosophers bent on world domination. A cybernetically-enhanced donut maker. The horned-up ghosts of elderly lady serial killers. The frozen head of Walt Sidney. Earthquakes. Fire tornados. A global volcanic winter. A supermassive extradimensional black hole. Dr. Vanilla Ice II.
And that’s literally not even the half of it.
Five books.
Seventeen stories.
More f-bombs than Microsoft Word can count.
Ten years of Exponential Apocalypse are collected into a single volume, an omnibus that, like a stoner’s rug, ties everything together, from the first doomsday to the very last. The End of Everything Forever is a fifty-year epic of extinction events, the genre-spanning saga of a planet in perpetual peril, a world that can’t seem to stop itself from ending – and all the nihilists and nutcases, the anti-heroes and con artists and mad scientists and slackers, that keep trying to save it.
Even if it is only because there’s nothing on TV that day.
With a foreword by Danger Slater.
Black Hole, Son!
Jersey Devil Press, 2018
Kindle / Paperback
The fifth and final book in the Exponential Apocalypse series! Thor Odinson and Queen Victoria XXX find themselves world famous and living high on the hog — assuming that hog is depressed, a little agoraphobic, and literally high. But then! Explosions! Punching! Some other stuff!
Hijinks — and hilariousness and terrible awryness — ensue.
A note to new readers: This is not for you. This is not the place to start fresh. This here is a coda to the last ten years of Exponential Apocalypse. A swan song, a last waltz, a tearful goodbye.
Black Hole, Son! is for the folks who want to see how it all ends.
Not well, obviously.
Revenge-aroni
Jersey Devil Press, 2016
ISBN 9780985906252
Paperback / Kindle
“I remember seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show and Phantom of the Paradise as a double feature (yes, a science fiction double feature) in the ’70s. I thought they were out there. Revenge-aroni is as far beyond those movies as they were beyond Heidi and The Sound Of Music.” — Mike, Books Are Theater of the Mind
The fourth book in the Exponential Apocalypse series, Revenge-aroni is smart, vulgar, and quite simply and with absolutely zero hyperbole, the single best post-apocalyptic book about borderline inept, mercenary heroes you will ever read. Filled with gallows humor and inventive swearing and run-on sentences, as well as sex, drugs, violence, and blatant attacks on artisanal coffee, Revenge-aroni will surely be looked back on as the piece of literature that saved humanity from both itself and the inevitable uprising of homicidal crab-people.
High Voltage
Jersey Devil Press, 2014
ISBN 9780985906221
Paperback / Kindle
The world has ended twenty-six and a half times to date… but that’s not about to stop it from trying again. High Voltage, the third novel in the Exponential Apocalypse series, is the perfect jumping on point for new readers. All of the fast-paced humor and snark of the first two critically-acclaimed, best-selling books and none of the having to read them first.
Witty and wired, High Voltage is the post-apocalyptic dark comedy for anyone who wishes The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy had more dick jokes or Clerks had more homicidal old lady ghosts. And, you know, was a book.
Storybook Romance
Red Bird Chapbooks, 2013
Chapbook
What if fairy tales are stories told from a distance? What if fairy tales are the idealized imaginings of someone who viewed the situation from far, far, away, and never troubled to get the details about what really transpired? What if closer inspection reveals a more human cast of characters? Eirik Gumeny proposes a new vision for the heroes, heroines, and horrors that have been passed down to children for generations, and it all begins in the bright, garden-choked suburbs of northern New Jersey …
Includes “Storybook Romance,” “Starlight,” “Too Close to the Sun,” and the Pushcart-nominated “Rubble,” as well as new, previously unpublished flash fiction.
Boy Meets Girl
Kattywompus Press, 2013
ISBN 1936715384
Chapbook
Heartbreaking and brokenhearted, these flash fictions by Eirik Gumeny are miniature excavations of us, our times, our foibles and dreams.
Includes “Ballpoint & Boredom,” “The Arsonist & the Thief of Hearts,” “Hymn,” “Milk, Eggs, Bread,” as well as new, previously unpublished prose.
Dead Presidents
Jersey Devil Press, 2012
ISBN 9780984612789
Paperback / Kindle
“If The Avengers was written by Terry Pratchett and directed by Kevin Smith, you might end up in the same dimension as Dead Presidents. Eirik Gumeny’s sequel to Exponential Apocalypse is a weird, wild ride through post-post apocalyptic America. And it’s dead funny.” — Kat Clay, Radiant Attack
Dead Presidents continues where the first Exponential Apocalypse left off, following Thor and company through a world rife with megalomaniacal clones, dinosaur armies, zombies, mad scientists, rhinos with lasers, and all manner of action and misadventure.
Uproarious and unrestrained, Dead Presidents puts the doody in doomsday and the ha in worldwide annihilation.
Exponential Apocalypse
Jersey Devil Press, 2009
ISBN 9780578030968
Paperback / Kindle
“Fast, weird, and funny as hell.” — Victor David Giron, Curbside Splendor
Exponential Apocalypse is the tender, heart-stirring tale of crappy jobs, a slacker cult, an alcoholic Aztec god, reconstituted world leaders, werewolves, robots, and the shenanigans of multiple persons living after the twentieth-aught end of the world.
Fast-paced, frenetic, funny, and frequently fond of other f-words, Exponential Apocalypse is the only book that will have you looking forward to the end of the world.
E-BOOKS
Quintology of Qualms
2016
Kindle Exclusive
SCREAM in delight as an orphan sacrifice goes hilariously awry! TREMBLE and FRET as witches and werewolves start working out their issues with claws and magic! POOP YOUR PANTS as two mad scientists take their creation out for coffee with disastrous results!
Two more than a Trilogy of Terror, one less than a Sextet of Sadness, and legally unrelated to a Treehouse of Horror, “mad genius” Eirik Gumeny brings you a QUINTOLOGY OF QUALMS! The only Halloween-themed horror comedy collection worth having! Read it IF YOU DARE!
We’re Going to Die Here, Aren’t We?
2012
Kindle Exclusive
We’re Going to Die Here, Aren’t We? collects nine short stories by Eirik Gumeny, author of the Exponential Apocalypse books. Originally published in a variety of journals ranging from Thieves Jargon to Jersey Devil Press, these stories are every bit as insane and hilarious as Gumeny’s longer works. We’re Going to Die Here, Aren’t We? includes the acclaimed short “The Astrophysicist”
and the Pushcart-nominated story “114.”
Devil Went Down to Jersey
2012
Kindle Exclusive
Devil Went Down to Jersey is a tongue-in-cheek novelette by Exponential Apocalypse author Eirik Gumeny, poking fun at the serious and the sacred, while simultaneously exploring larger societal problems of greed and overwhelming self-interest. There’s also a fight between Satan and a homeless man over a Twinkie that could destroy the world. Profane? A little. Blasphemous? Most certainly. Hilarious? You bet your ass.
ANTHOLOGIES
Quick Shivers about Bugs: from DailyNightmare.com
Dailynightmare.com, 2016
Paperback
Quick Shivers about Bugs presents a different kind of graphic literature in this third annual anthology. Extremely short bug-related nightmares appear bizarrely typeset, oddly illustrated and in full color. This edition includes essays and stories that explore the ways that bugs have wriggled their way into our imaginations.
CommuterLit Selections Fall 2013
CommuterLit.com, 2013
Paperback
CommuterLit Selections Fall 2013 is the first of what will be periodic anthologies of poems and short stories culled from the best of CommuterLit.com, which posts a new short story, novel excerpt or poem each day from Monday to Friday, specially formatted to read on mobile devices of all screen sizes. Our focus is works of fiction, memoir or poetry that can be enjoyed during a 20- to 30-minute public-transit commute to work.
The 2010 Jersey Devil Press Anthology
Jersey Devil Press, 2010
Paperback / Kindle
Featuring fiction by Mike Sweeney, yt sumner, M.R. Lang, Gavin Broom, and more, the 2010 Jersey Devil Press Anthology is without a doubt the single greatest collection of stories written by multiple authors released by Jersey Devil Press this summer. It’s a veritable bacchanal of genre-straddling, clown-fearing, taco-hunting, world-ending prose!